Support your children by creating a system.

To support you, your child(ren), and your family, we’ve included this blog to empower you in understanding the difference between systems and goals.

GOAL vs SYSTEM: What’s the difference?

A goal is an objective you will either achieve or fail to reach sometime in the future.
A system refers to a consistent set of actions or practices that can boost your chances of long-term happiness. By regularly following this system, you increase your likelihood of success over time. Unlike chasing a goal that may or may not be achievable, a system entails investing in something you truly love and enjoy.

A goal is something you hope to accomplish in the future. A system is a lifestyle with no deadlines. You probably can’t tell at any given moment if you’re going in the right direction, but it feels good. It’s supporting you in your growth each day.

It’s the difference between wishing and deciding!

Enjoying the daily practice of a system is more important than obsessing over the outcome of your goals. Without pleasurable strategies to get there, your chances of success are slim. Although achieving a goal can be exhilarating, the satisfaction is often fleeting, leaving you without a sense of purpose or direction. Creating a system involves identifying daily practices that work for you and allow you to feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of each day. Applying your system consistently brings a sense of satisfaction that surpasses the emotional highs and lows of chasing after a goal.

The power of repetition and conditioning the mind.

We can all easily agree that professional athletes get to their EXTRAORDINARY level of skills simply by repeating the same movements, the same routines, over and over, sometimes to exhaustion until they become the best at it.

That is a SYSTEM!

Mental conditioning involves changing your thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs to promote positive thinking and enhance performance. Consistently practicing a system reinforces this process, making it easier each day and preparing you for the next level without even realizing it. By training your mind to focus on solutions, you can optimize your mental state for success.

What are the benefits of establishing a family system?

• Creating a system can be applied to promoting well-being as a family. By establishing consistent routines and habits, families can increase their chances of success in achieving their goals and maintaining positive relationships. For example, setting aside time for family meals or game nights can promote bonding and communication, while also providing a sense of structure and stability. Additionally, practicing self- care activities as a family, such as exercising or meditating together, can help to reduce stress and improve overall well-being. By prioritizing these activities and making them part of a regular system, families can cultivate a healthy and happy lifestyle together.

• Creating a system as a family can bring numerous benefits, including improved communication, increased sense of unity, shared purpose and direction, and a greater sense of trust and support among family members. By working together to establish and maintain a system that works for everyone, families can develop a stronger sense of cohesion and understanding. This can also help to reduce conflicts and increase feelings of overall well- being and satisfaction within the family unit. Additionally, having a system in place can help family members to better manage their time and responsibilities, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling family life.

• Creating a family system is not only a powerful tool to bring your family closer together, but it also helps ensure that everyone in your tribe is doing well and moving forward together. With a well-designed system, you can easily keep track of any issues that need to be addressed and ensure that everyone is getting the support and attention they need.

Creating your own family system in seven simple steps:

1.Choose five core family values and display them where everyone can see daily.

2. Discuss the importance of your chosen values with each family member, using age-appropriate language. Understanding 'why' gives life purpose, keeps you focused on your goals, and helps align your choices with your beliefs Understanding 'why' keeps you connected to your chosen values and committed It also helps you make choices and decisions that match what you believe in, making life more meaningful. Knowing your ‘why’ helps you live with intention.

3. Create a list of actions you can take today to support each other in your current needs.

4. Add two things to your daily routine from that list. You could even make a vision board together.

5. Schedule a weekly meeting time to connect, discuss questions 1, 2, 3, and 4, share insights, feedback, and feelings.

6. Every month, celebrate the good things you’ve done together as a family and individually learn to support each other’s individual experiences.

7. Stick with your plan for at least three months. Stay committed!

Family Structure and Hierarchy

A healthy and stable family structure is essential for proper household functioning. When a child displays problematic behavior, it may indicate that the family ecosystem is imbalanced. The child’s behavior can be a metaphor for the parents’ failure to address underlying family issues. Although parents often react to their child’s behavior with concern or punishment, the child may feel empowered by this attention, even if it does not result in positive change.

It is crucial to understand why the child is suddenly exhibiting this behavior and what they are trying to communicate. There may be underlying family dynamic issues contributing to the child’s behavior. Both parents and children occupy superior and inferior positions within the family hierarchy, which can lead to conflicting arrangements. If the child dominates and the parents lose their power, it can result in a hierarchical reversal.

Analogical communication is also crucial in understanding family dynamics. Messages may contain implicit requests or commands, and analogies and metaphors can be applied to different aspects of human behavior. Therefore, it is essential to analyze and address the underlying issues within the family structure to promote a healthy and stable environment for everyone.

When parents argue, it can create tension and emotional distress for children, especially if they feel that their parents are not paying attention to them. In an effort to get their parents’ attention, children may start acting out or exhibiting problematic behavior. This behavior can intensify the conflict between parents, which can create an unbalanced family dynamic.

When children change their behavior in response to their parents’ arguments, it can be a signal that the family ecosystem is out of balance. This imbalance can be caused by many factors, including ineffective communication, a lack of emotional support, or a failure to address underlying issues within the family. In some cases, the child may become the focal point of attention, leading to a power dynamic shift within the family hierarchy.

It is important for parents to recognize the impact of their arguments on their children and to communicate in a healthy and respectful manner. Parents should strive to maintain a balance of power within the family hierarchy and to provide emotional support and guidance for their children. By addressing underlying issues within the family structure and fostering healthy communication, parents can create a stable and healthy family environment for everyone.

Create a system and stay connected!

— Aurora